Marge Gunderson: In what way?
Hooker No. 1: I dunno... just funny-lookin'.
Marge Gunderson: Can you be any more specific?
Hooker No. 1: I couldn't really say... He wasn't circumcised.
Fargo
Two Macs, one tablet, router, three ext. HDs, USB sticks, one smart phone, cables.
Reasons are probably these two blog posts and the tweet. With a 99% probability the complain with the police was exacted by the Job Center Munich in order to shut down my critical blog about this criminal and racist German government agency.
Apparently the Munich court takes exception to these Blog posts here:
Seltsam, wieviel Hitler das Jobcenter München klaglos passieren lässt. Probleme mit Pressefreiheit eventuell?
and/or
3 cops (2 M and F) show up on Oct.28 at 7:40 AM.
Why did a female police officer join in? Well this is racist Germany and they wanted to body search my Asian-born daughter as well.
Equipped with firearms and pepper spray.
Unlike the first time, when two ridiculous policemen came, blundered around and shuffled off with one Mac without informing me about my right to call an attorney and/or a witness, this time they were a little better prepared and showed a sliver of professionality.
To call my daughter as a witness would take them too long, they say. Che peccato. Well now we need a witness.
So one guy trundles along the hallway and returns with an elderly lady with as it turns out an 80% hearing loss. This lady thinks I'm the manager of concierge company. Tell her that I am flattered but that this honorable position would be intellectually beyond my capabilities. It takes a while until the police jump on my train of thought that she could hardly qualify as a witness.
Now the junior police shuffles back down the hallway and finally hits a gold mine in that he apparently launched a totally convincing sales pitch inspiring our neighbor to drag his ass over to us and impart on a temporary career as a witness. So we are all set then, right?
I might have a dangerous weapon on me cautions the senior guy, the officially appointed spokesman for this mission, and so a body search is announced. Turns out I am clean as a daisy apart from that small pouch containing some really good shit from South Am and a bottle of sneaked Chateau d'Yquem. Alrighty then, while those two soldiers of law & order start their routine I continue smoking my usual morning pipe.
Upon starting the produre one cop mentions money in a bowl and suggests I should rather take.
"Do you take someone else's money?" my question. "No." "There you go, then they just leave it there and we are fine. No sweat."
While the Police Academy is busy collecting our IT stuff, I am talking to my neighbor about different things. It's not exactly Netflix time when Bavarian cops are in the room. I therefore venture to mention "The police is tapping phone lines." "But not all" appeased the policewoman immediately. Well that's refreshing and candid news. Thank you.
Oh wait, the spokesmen of the three cops appears to have a glaring problem with the interior design. Here then my expertise in Home Decor is in demand.
"Is your daughter living in this room?" My answer is affirmative, but something in the decor, perhaps even the placement of clothing of my daughter do not conform to his visual expectations and so his professional investigative drive gets into full swing and with Heckler-Koch-style precision expresses his serious doubt "but that does not look like she lives here!"
Now I am not well-versed in the fashion and interior design requirements of the German state security organs and so I eagerly ask what the optical and quality requirements would be to satisfy the visual expectations of Bavarian civil servants security organs? Our neighbor takes a peep at the room and feels positive about it showing signs of habitation. You have to be lenient, Bavarians are strange people.
In the meantime the female cop, the one that came to bodydearch my daughter, sets out to ask personal details. I'm no fan of redundant questions whether the address is correct and what my date of birth is: "Look, you had that all pre-checked inhouse before and I have no reason to believe they are wrong."
"Do you want to provide information on your daughter?" - "No!"
"Do you want to provide information about your wife?" - "No!" Heck, I told you we are seperated.
"Do you want to provide information about your financial conditions?" - "What was the middle part again?"
How insensitive can Bavarian cops be? The exercise of the right of free expression on a critical blog and Bavarian cops, internationally known for institutional racism, want to have information on family members. Family members of Asian descent!
Oh, then there's the question about the passwords of the Macs and the tablet. Well my daughter and I are mentally quite scatterbrained and taking that into account we simply use 'incorrect' as our password.
It's Hollywood time, or is here some Helmut Newton springing into action? Anyway, the junior cop starts taking photos of our palace and I am inclined to observe a thoroughly professional handling of the digital-optical device. A unit of an era when 5 megapixels were at the pinnacle of tech progress and elicited orgasmic convulsions and you had to whisk the girls off the street.
So after more than 60 minutes of Bavarian time have elapsed, I accompany the state security crew to the door in Oscar-Wilde-style and dismiss them politely, not without having first assured myself with them, they would find the exit in an acceptable timeframe. I felt slightly displeased the female police officer left me without a French bise. Tel Aviv, as the French say.
PS. In case my daughter had come fom school, the cops would have confiscated her smart phone as well. To which my daughter later said, had you told me there is police at our home I certainly would have come without it.That's my girl, never trust racist German police!
__________
We have secured the Macs with FileVault but are eager to see how Android encryption holds up.
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