#Dieselgate consumer advice: "Now you listen me how to get Diesel car clean, ja!"

Allow me to first introduce myself. I am Rupert. You may also call me Matthias, Dieter, Harald, Martin. Zese names all work fine.

I am big CE OH! of ze big Vorsprung Car company.

You may have heard of some rumblings in ze media about some alleged emission test data not in compliance wiz legal requirements, ja. Ve fully understand ze concerns of our valued customers.

Just last week we had a fine buffet, err, I mean serious talks with our German lapdogs, err, politicians. In order to resolve zis small impasse quickly, ve from ze German car empire togezer wiz our trusted politicians agreed on a very generous software update. It is indeed a highly technical software, you bet.

In ze meantime, ve from ze German car empire have left no stone unturned to win ze trust of our German customers back. Today ve are proud to announce our Program of Trust you can not refuse. Our Total Solution to finally offer you what you deserve: Ze totally Clean Diesel Car. No software update needed! Genius!

Ze Total Solution German Clean Diesel Car Offer

• Just turn in your present diesel car.
• Zen you buy a new diesel car and
• You will be pampered wiz a generous rebate of up to € 10,000.
• You saved ze environment!

Ve call it ze 360 solution of total German engineering.