Dear professional colleagues, my law services are now trademarked. - Aglaia Muth, Munich

Aglaia Muth w. dushaala of excellence

Dear professional colleagues,

My name is Aglaia Muth, yes that is the name of a Greek goddess, and I am an attorney in Munich, which is the capital village of the province of Bavaria.

It has come to my attention, how so I do not know because I usually tend to be inattentive, that certain traits of my professional conduct have been and still are being copied by fellow attorneys. This is firstly unacceptable, secondly shameful and thirdly, well how about firstly.

Being devoted to offer the highest level of professionalism to the august duty of serving the law I have taken the liberty to have my exquisity and services trademarked.

Attorney AGLAIA MUTH™

1. I accept any case. After all, justice is blind.
2. Applying my mantra of professionalism, dedication and expertise I specialize in cases where I have absolutely no clue.
3. Being a woman from toe to nipple I excel at multi-tasking cases to the extent that I don't even care a luke warm fart.
4. I attend court room hearings demure and stay quiet. Really quiet. Throughout.
5. My client? Who?? Oh yeah, he is somewhere in the room. Sorry.
6. When asked by the judge I keep my statement short, detached, sometimes even incoherent.
7. Preparing or researching a case is so yesterdecade. Improvise and stay detached!
8. Utmost confidentiality requires it that I keep the charge sheet just that. My client need not be bothered with these highly technical intricacies.
9. In case he/she asks to see it? Excuse me, I could not hear you over the sound of my humming brain?
10. Doing paperwork for the client is for losers. FTW? Whether I win or lose makes no diff, I get paid anyway.
11. Suck up to the view of the judge. He never fails and I can nod off.
12. Provide a challenge to your contemporaries. Anybody can deliver a letter with a proper address on it. I leave out city and zip code. Let the post office figure it out on their own.
13. I am a super-hot bitch.

My gait is not trademarked. Nobody could copy that without losing the balance.

AM™