"Today I’m announcing a new cryptocurrency, the ProfG Coin"

That's courtesy Scott Galloway.

It will be available to users on the most powerful, secure, closed network known to the modern economy … AOL. (2.1 million people still use AOL for dial-up.) While other cryptos claim to serve the unbanked, ProfG will serve the unloved. I will surround users with white light and assure them that early adoption will make them feel less anxious and depressed. 

If you’re not on AOL, no worries. We’ll be issuing a tangible fiat currency — Cialis pills. There will be 10mg and 20mg bills/tablets pegged to the Euro, a stable currency that looks cooler than the dollar. My launch partners are Chipotle, anyone who sells vitaminwater, Hulu (couldn’t reach a deal with Netflix — bitches), Discover Card, MedMen, and Crocs.

 Interested? Sure you are. Read all on Scott's new modicum on Medium.

(as usual, the DISCLAIMER: We have no position in any crypto currency. We are deliriously long Château d'Yquem Sauternes.)