The Federal Rep. of Germany is seeking: Transit Resort Human Resources Managers cum SSupervisor

Job Offer

The Government of the Federal Rep. of Germany is seeking:

Transit Resort Human Resources Managers cum SSupervisor

Expected skills:

• Strong people skills,
• Advanced concentration capabilities, also to be applied on human resources lounging in concentrated environ,
• Excellent visual acuity particularly trained on tourists dressed in pleasing vertically-striped suits,
• Physically and emotionally demanding working environment with often strong-willed tourists,
• You are action-packed and short-fuse decisioned,
• Immunity to sexually attractive tourists and/or advances by them,
• Kick-ass approach on all occasions,
• You show convincing tactile proficiency,
• Basic interlocutory capabilities, less is more,
• Highly developed olfactory tolerance level and cultural indifference,
• Diploma in German Leitkultur a definite plus.

Transit Resorts are located in the province of Bavaria populated by rather sullen indigenous people speaking a strange dialect. Applicants need to be prepared to face impromptu exchanges with former colony to the South.

Tazer training provided plus pabulum and generously stocked bar with indigenous spirits. You've been warned.

Please note: ONLY the BEST need to apply!

If you feel you have got what it takes, please contact VBFL (Völkisches Büro für Flüchtlingslösung) next to Chancellory in Berlin. STILLGESTANDEN!